Why did the chicken cross the road?
Varför gick kycklingen över vägen?


KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.

PLATO:
For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN:
I forgot.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.
Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and
experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and
technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with
Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to
leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and
explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order
to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The
meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an
impactful environment which was strategically based,
industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified
market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and
core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the
chicken change to become more successful.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed'
the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shall cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT
cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around
all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your chequebook as well.

OLIVER STONE:
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather,
it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

ERIC NYLANDER:
As you were able to see it, crossing the road, I can tell:
It hasn't yet competed in the Venture-X.

DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken,
depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

CLINTON:
I did not, and I repeat, I did not have any sexual relations with the chicken.